


Are You There, God? It's Me, Leesa.

by second-wings (eigwayne)



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Gen, discussion of religion and god, mention of my nemesis the Book of Job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eigwayne/pseuds/second-wings
Summary: Peace, Hope, and Family; or An Attempt to Discover God After One Has Lost Her, by Sumeragi Lee Noriega. For Gundam 00 Week 2017, Day 3 - Trinity.A chance encounter with Marie gets Sumeragi thinking about something she can’t factor into battle plans, something she lost long ago: God.





	

Sumeragi was familiar with prayer. She had lived in the heart of Spain, a land of great religious history, both good and bad, and she had been a soldier, back when she was still Leesa Kujo. Soldiers had all sorts of superstitions and rituals. Leesa had had some herself, too, but that felt like another person to Sumeragi. And yet it still surprised her when she heard someone pray in Celestial Being.

‘For all our blasphemes and violence and other sins,’ she thought, ‘someone still has hope in a higher power.’ 

It was Marie, breathing a soft prayer of safety before their next mission.

Marie saw her before the soft words ended, and her eyes met Sumeragi’s as the ‘Amen’ left her lips. Sumeragi looked away, somehow embarrassed to catch Marie’s attention when she said that word.

“You look stiff,” Marie said as she rose and came to Sumeragi’s side. “Did it really surprise you that I pray for our success in battle?”

Damn, but the girl was astute. Was it those enhanced Super Soldier instincts, or just because she was Marie?

“It just took me off guard,” Sumeragi admitted. “I forget sometimes that any of us believe in anything.” She hadn’t believed anything since she was still Leesa Kujo, and Emilio’s smile was in front of her eye instead of in her memories.

Marie smiled. “We all believe or we wouldn’t be here, working this hard and risking our lives with every mission. We believe in peace, and the hope for the future.”

Sumeragi couldn’t argue with that, but it still felt wrong to be asking some God to oversee them when they killed in the name of that hope. She said nothing, not wanting to take the smile off Marie’s face.

*~*~*~*~*

The topic somehow came up with Feldt about a week later, as the Gundams and their pilots safely docked after a particularly dangerous sortie. Feldt leaned back in her chair and murmured, “Thank God,” as the last mobile suit was clamped into its cradle.

Sumeragi’s curiosity was piqued, the brief talk with Marie coming back to her. “Feldt,” she asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, do you believe in God?”

“What?” Feldt stammered, her cheeks going pink as her hair. “Well, not really. It’s just an expression, right?”

Sumeragi slouched in the captain’s chair and felt slightly foolish. “Yes. Just an expression.” She was reading too much into this, her mind whirling with too many possibilities. After all, how could one factor the grace of God into battle plans? She never had before. Never thought to.

There was no point in worrying. And yet, here she was, doing just that, wondering if it was her blasphemous attitude that cursed them with so many battles, so much heartache and pain and loss.

“But,” Feldt’s voice cut through Sumeragi’s growing self-reproach. “I do believe in family. All of us, we’re family, and when we’re all on the ship safely, it makes me happy. So if there is a God, I’d thank God for that.”

Sumeragi smiled. “I think we all would.”

*~*~*~*~*

Sumeragi’s strange question bothered Feldt, who had a tendency to fret. So she asked the person who would know best- Marie.

They stood together in the corridor, the same one where Saji had told Setsuna he agreed to be his copilot. Anew and Lyle had shared a kiss there once, and Mileina stopped to daydream of love. The silvery walls had seen a lot.

“I agree,” Marie said when Feldt told her the story. “You don’t need to believe in God to be thankful. I think I would feel the same, if I had a family.”

“You do!” Feldt insisted. She clasped Marie’s hands between her own, leaning forward a bit with her eyes bright. Marie looked startled by the sudden intensity, but she didn’t step away. “We’re your family,” Feldt said, and Marie’s owlish expression smoothed into a broad smile.

“Yes. You are. Allelujah.” And she laughed when Fedlt looked confused, and told her briefly what Allelujah’s name meant, and how she had given it to him.

“Ah, so you’ve always been family.”

They still held hands, there at the intersection of determination and love and daydreams. Marie’s smile never faltered, her ‘Allelujah’ resounding through her still.

“Yes, and I’m thankful for that, too.”

Felt gave her hands a squeeze and let go, turning to head toward the hangars. “I hope Sumeragi finds her answer,” she said, half to herself.

“Me too,” Marie said, and they walked side by side- friends, comrades, family.

Down the hall, unnoticed, Sumeragi Lee Noriega leaned against the corridor wall, an uneven smile on her lips. ‘Sorry for making you worry, Feldt, Marie,’ she thought. ‘But I’m kind of glad you think of me enough to.’

She still felt blasphemous and lost, but so had Job with his boils and curses and grief, and he had still believed in his God in the end, if the story was true. So if Sumeragi found the God Leesa had lost when she lost Emilio, and She turned out to be peace or hope or family instead of an actual Supreme Being, well, that would be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: I didn’t want to mention any of the guys at all, and leave this with just the three starring ladies, but that plan failed. Allelujah means too much to Marie and Emilio is such an integral part of Leesa’s pain that they slipped in. So I rolled with the rest.
> 
> Also the Book of Job can kiss my ass (I had to read it three times in college. Three times! It was torture). But it serves my purpose here well enough.


End file.
